Real Life E® » health

Relationships and Stress

reallifee — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 20:36:57 +0000

When you’re feeling stressed, you need the support of friends and family the most. The only problem is that this is usually when you least feel like taking the time, or even having the time, to connect. But don’t stress! Below, Work/Life Balance Coach Elizabeth Grace Saunders, shares her secrets for relationship success:

It’s the stuff movies are made of…

Almost every good plot line includes something about relationships with friends, family members, colleagues or significant others.

And it’s truly a gift to have people that care about you, who want to spend time with you and notice what you do or don’t do. In a way, it’s a validation that your life matters and has significance.

But when you find yourself feeling time pressured, the treasure of relationships can start to feel like an oppressive burden.

In these situations, common (but often unhealthy) responses to additional requests or perceived request on your time are to:

Silently withdraw
Resentfully complete the activity
Sharply lash out

These type of reactions then start to drive a wedge between you and the person on the receiving end and can leave you feeling guilty and frustrated.

But there is a better way.

Here are four steps for completing a sleight of mind trick when you feel overwhelmed by requests from those around you.

1. Treasure the Gift: The opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. Take a moment to appreciate the presence of someone in your life who notices how you spend your time.

2. Consider Your Options: Reflect on the situation and consider whether anything could change. Could you come home earlier? Would you be able to spend less time in front of the computer?

3. Express Your Perspective: Instead of assuming the other person can naturally see the pressure that you’re experiencing, commit to expressing what’s going on inside you. It could sound something like this: “I really appreciate that you want to spend more time with me, and I feel badly that I can’t meet all of your requests because of ______. Are there any particular ways I can show you that you are a priority to me?”

4. Keep Your Commitments: When you say you will do something, follow through. Even if you have to say, “No,” sometimes, people will appreciate it when they can rely on you to stick to your, “Yes.”

Following these four steps, will help you to feel better about your relationships and about yourself. This sleight of mind is not about “being fake” but about choosing how you will respond when you experience the sensation of feeling pressured.

Personal and professional relationships are an investment of time and energy.

But they are worth it.

In some ways the movies are right: your relationships with people that matter to you make the best plot lines–make sure they’re part of your life story.

To your brilliance!

Elizabeth Grace

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth has appeared in Inc magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and on NBC. She was selected as one of the Top 25 Amazing Women of 2010 by Stiletto Woman and as a member of the Young Entrepreneurs Council featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Mashable, and many other media outlets.

Elizabeth’s time coaching clients have the opportunity to go through her exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM life transformation process through phone coaching and custom action guides or in-person training.

Why Even Your Surgeon Has a Coach

reallifee — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 20:35:10 +0000

That’s right! We all need coaches. Work/life balance coach and time management expert, Elizabeth Grace Saunders, describes the amazing physical and emotional benefits of coaching…

How would you feel if you knew your surgeon had a coach?

It’s natural if your first thought was: What’s wrong?

But according to Atul Gawande in his excellent article in The New Yorker about Coaching a Surgeon: What Makes Top Performers Better, you should be thrilled.

Atul found that coaching really helped him transcend a plateau in his surgeries.

I agree that coaching can absolutely help you move to the next level.

But I’ve also found that coaching can lead to brilliant results as a sort of physical therapy or occupational therapy.

Here’s what I mean:

Physical therapy: Sometimes due to our natural abilities or some major challenge that we’ve faced, our habits are too weak to support us in a healthy way. (For instance, many of my clients need strength training to “build” their planning muscles.)

Occupational therapy: A coach can help you when major life changes or increases in responsibility require developing new ways of thinking and acting. This is when your life went to the next level but no one gave you the instructions on how to operate in this new stratosphere!

In my experience, both with coaching others and with receiving coaching myself, it can feel a bit embarrassing at first to admit that you really are not sure how to improve. But once you are working alongside someone who understands how to navigate the territory and will encourage you to not give up when it’s hard, everything comes sooo much easier.

To your brilliance!

Elizabeth Grace

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth on Forbes: Do You Feel Like You’re Always Working?

reallifee — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 17:49:26 +0000

Even though you may love your job, sometimes the perpetual cycle of work, work, and more work can be just too much. You don’t want to be consumed by work, but somewhere along the way, it just happened. You need to find some balance. Pronto! Otherwise, you’re in danger of burning out.

Fortunately,there are a few simple adjustments to your mindset and daily schedule that can make a big difference. In her newest article, “Why Does it Feel like I’m Always Working?” featured on Forbes.com, expert time coach and work-life balance master, Elizabeth Grace Saunders, discusses simple solutions you can start implementing today. Overcome feelings of guilt, and tactfully stop over-committing by setting boundaries. You can work hard but still have time to play hard- every day!

So take a break from your work, and check out Elizabeth’s Forbes Article now.

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E®, which provides life coaching for individuals who struggle with time management.

Real Life E® empowers individuals who feel guilty, overwhelmed and frustrated to feel peaceful, confident and accomplished through an exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM process. Real Life E® also increases employee productivity, satisfaction and work/life balance through custom training programs.

Elizabeth’s time coaching clients have the opportunity to go through her exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM life transformation process through phone coaching and custom action guides or in-person training.

Hope for Clients Battling Depression

reallifee — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:20:01 +0000

Shorter days and colder weather can be a bit of a let down for many people. However if you struggle with depression, the changing seasons may not only dampen your spirit but also disrupt your time management, work/life balance, and strong relationship building attempts.

Fortunately, you can find tools and support to function during the darker months of the year. Check out the links below to learn more about depression, and discover helpful resources.

Be gentle with yourself, and hang in there! Spring’s around the corner! To your brilliance!

The Mayo Clinic’s Comprehensive Overview: clear educational summary, including info about symptoms, treatment, causes, and coping.

Check out the links at the bottom of the page to learn more about other types of depression including:

Seasonal Affective Disorder(SAD)

Dysthesmia

Atypical (surprisingly, very typical!)

Postpartum

Male Depression

Other Resources:

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

Self-Help and Coping Tips

Living with a Depressed Partner

About Real Life E®

Help for ADD/ADHD Clients

reallifee — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 20:05:06 +0000

Time Management can be a challenge for anyone, but staying on task can be especially difficult for those struggling with ADD or ADHD.

But there’s hope! Elizabeth has experience working with clients of all different personality types and learning styles. The key to change is recognizing the challenge and finding a solution that works best for you. Check out some of the resources below to learn more about ADD/ADHD, to understand how it may have an impact on your work/life balance, and to connect with others who are struggling with some of the same difficulties. To your brilliance!

The Mayo Clinic’s Comprehensive Overview of Adult ADHD: easy-to-grasp educational resource, including info about symptoms, causes, diagnosis, and treatment

Adult ADD/ADHD: symptoms, treatment, and other resources

Positive/Negative ADD Traits: One adult’s experience living with ADD

Attention Deficit Disorder Association: Online community of resources

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E® a time coaching and training company that empowers individuals who feel guilty, overwhelmed and frustrated to feel peaceful, confident and accomplished through an exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM process. Real Life E® also increases team productivity, employee satisfaction and work/life balance through custom training programs.
Elizabeth has appeared in Inc magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and on NBC. She was selected as one of the Top 25 Amazing Women of 2010 by Stiletto Woman and as a member of the Young Entrepreneurs Council featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Mashable, and many other media outlets.

Ditching the Dread… Of Success

reallifee — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 15:04:02 +0000

We’ve all experienced that roller coaster of project-related emotions at some point in life. While performing at the top of your game is initially empowering and motivating, the pressure to continually outperform yourself can be debilitating. An activity that once filled you with joy, confidence, and a sense of accomplishment now fills you with dread. Well, it’s time to ditch that dread and gain your confidence back! In her recent newsletter, Elizabeth describes the inspirational turnaround of a wonderful client. Try out some of the tools and strategies in the latest client success story below.

Starting a new project in an area where you have excelled but almost killed yourself in the process is terrifying …

What if you can’t produce the same level of results?
What if you lose yourself and quality relationships in the process?
What if you end up feeling terrible the entire time you’re doing the work?

These are all valid feelings when your past experience tells you that the only way to get big projects done is to work at a frenzied pace.

Fortunately, there’s a better way.

Last winter, I worked with a successful, well-published writer who also taught in a university graduate school Masters of Fine Arts program. She was stuck.

“I am scattered and making erratic progress with this or that. I want to make solid steps forward. I want to reclaim my life and place in the literary firmament, get healthy and in shape, and have fun!”

She also had just been diagnosed with ADHD and was wondering how much of an impact ADHD had on her life-long frustrations with writing and other areas of her life. One of her most important goals was to move forward on her next big creative project–a collection of linked short stories. It had been a long time since her first book had been published, and she needed to regain professional momentum…

“My friends are mostly writers and successful. I have lots of ink in the New York Times that I have written and that has been written about me. So I have talent. I also need to know what I need to do, like a solid schedule? work impulsively? Okay I know the answer to that.”

She did know the answer, but turning the answer into practical action took time coaching… We came up with an initial plan of how she could get in a good, solid, writing time in the morning. Then each week, we worked on assessing the results and evaluating how to move forward based on what happened.

“I found the process very stabilizing because I tend to be all over the place with trying things. You were able to roll with the way I operate and yet be a strong force in your own right. It was helpful having you to run things off of, especially when I got stuck–which was about every week.”

We worked together on different morning writing routines. The first involved: drinking coffee, eating breakfast, taking the dog out, meditating, getting dressed, and then starting to write. The second involved just getting coffee and starting to write. The end result was a fusion of the two with pouring a cup of coffee, meditating a bit, taking out the dog and then writing.

The end goal wasn’t to have this creative writer crammed into a rigid schedule but to have something that turned writing (her top professional priority) from a dreaded activity to a peaceful part of her daily schedule.

Over the course of our work together, she found that if she followed her morning routine and put herself in her writing space for two hours (with a timer set), the inspiration came and the writing moved forward.

Writing didn’t need to be something that she dreaded.
Writing didn’t need to be something that took over her life.
Writing could be something she choose to move forward on each day.

At last! Freedom to do quality work without losing herself, her relationships or her sanity was possible!

“I’ve found that the actual schedule that I longed for would absolutely drive me around the bend so I have a flexitarian schedule and am getting things done.”

“Having and sticking with a schedule is the single most important thing I can do for myself as an artist, as a woman living a rather complex and exciting life, and as someone newly aware that many of my problems stem from having ADHD. Nothing, nothing, nothing will move me forward like following my schedule will. Period.”

The same could be true for you.

You can take away the fear surrounding moving forward on a big project by developing, practicing and adjusting your custom routines.

To your brilliance!

Elizabeth

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E®, which provides life coaching for individuals who struggle with time management.

Day in the Life of a Time Coach: My Morning Routine

reallifee — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 12:41:03 +0000

Ever wonder how a time management coach spends her days? This sneak peek into Elizabeth’s morning routine might be just the inspiration you need to make a few adjustments to your own wake up rituals! Be sure to stay tuned for more insights into Elizabeth’s daily schedule. Enjoy!

Inside My Mind

I hesitate to talk too much…about the specifics of how I personally organize my day for a few reasons:

I don’t want to seem self absorbed.
I know from coaching clients around the world that custom plans based on the right strategies work better than copying someone else’s exact techniques.
I’m an ENFJ and not all–but many–of my clients are Myers Briggs INFP or ISFP so they sometimes need a bit different approach.

But that being said, much of what I do is teaching people how to develop the mindset and skill set of an organized person so I’m pulling back the curtain on my life. In the upcoming posts, you’ll learn about not only what I do on a daily basis but also get inside my mind on what I’m thinking throughout the process.

See below for a close look at how I start my morning…

I hope this helps you and demonstrates that I’m authentically living a life of accomplishing more with peace and confidence!

Elizabeth’s Morning Routine

My internal clock is set to 6 a.m. This is awesome on weekdays because it’s usually not a problem for me to get up when my happy nature sounds alarm goes off. It’s not so awesome on the weekends when I’ve stayed up later than 11 p.m. and want to sleep in–but can’t.

If I wake up with unpleasant thoughts in my head (perhaps from a weird dream) I sometimes lay in bed a bit past 6 a.m. so I can process the negative emotions. I then get up and immediately grab my Bible and my journal from my nightstand and take them downstairs to the dining room and put them in my designated spot.

I love the fact that the house is quiet, and I’m alone at this hour. It’s very peaceful and my mind can wander and get lost in thoughts without interruption. I start my fabulous Bunn coffee maker (only 4 minutes to brew a whole pot!) and then put together a simple breakfast.

As I gather my food, I usually make a rough sketch in my mind of what I plan on eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner. That way, I know that I’m getting some variety in my three meals and enough healthy foods like fruits and vegetables. I also make note of anything that I need to buy in my “Grocery” note in my phone.

Now it’s time to sit down and eat. As I munch, I read a short passage and then take time to ponder what it means to me. Usually during my pondering time, I go back for seconds on breakfast food. (I eat small portions so I can go back for more!)

Next, I take time to meditate. Depending on my mood, this can take many different forms:

Writing in a prayer journal.
Listening to an affirmations CD.
Laying on the living room floor staring at the ceiling and sorting out my thoughts.
Going on a walk through my neighborhood (usually just on the weekends)

After my meditation time, I’m typically feeling peaceful, energized and in control of my emotions. As they would say in the excellent book Switch, my “elephant” is happy so now the “rider” can start to direct my focus.

Around 7:30 a.m., I start to transition from being to doing… I put away breakfast food and clean up any dishes. I go around the house fluffing pillows, shutting cabinets, collecting up stray items and generally reassuring myself that everything is in order in my physical environment so that I can more or less ignore it for the next 8 hours.

I then shower and get ready for the day completely if I need to leave the house for an appointment during work hours. (I have a tendency to underestimate how long it can take to get ready and get out of the house.) If I’m not going out until the evening, then I just put on clothes for going on a walk at lunch and leave doing hair, make up and jewelry until the end of the day so everything is “fresh.”

Sometime between 8 and 8:30 a.m., I sit down at my computer and begin my morning processing and planning routine… to be fully explained in an upcoming post…

To your brilliance!

Your time coach,

Elizabeth

P.S.-Rest assured! I don’t recommend that all of my time coaching clients get up at 6 a.m.! That’s just what works for me.

P.P.S.–Feel free to share your insights on morning routines.

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E® a time coaching and training company that empowers individuals who feel guilty, overwhelmed and frustrated to feel peaceful, confident and accomplished through an exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM process. Real Life E® also increases employee productivity, satisfaction and work/life balance through custom training programs.Elizabeth has appeared in Inc magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and on NBC. She was selected as one of the Top 25 Amazing Women of 2010 by Stiletto Woman and as a member of the Young Entrepreneurs Council featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Mashable, and many other media outlets.

Get some Zzz’s: Sleep Tools and Strategies

reallifee — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 19:54:03 +0000

You’ve just pulled an 18-hour day so you should easily sink into blissful dreamland. The problem is the adrenaline rush from everything you’ve just accomplished is still flowing and thoughts of all you have to do tomorrow are starting to trickle into your head. So instead of snoozing, you find yourself wide awake, unable to sleep.

You already know to kick caffeine at least 4 hours before bed and to pull yourself away from all screen media at least 15 minutes before your head hits the pillow. You’ve even tried counting sheep and grandma’s mug of warm milk trick. But still, Mr. Sandman doesn’t seem to come. No worries, we’ll help you rest easy with these sleep tips and tricks!

First, it’s important to establish a bit of a bedtime routine and set some sleep boundaries. Remember those bedtime stories when you were a kid? Read a few pages of a book, jot down your thoughts in a journal, take time to stretch, or rinse your face with some warm water. Here’s a sample morning and evening wind-down routine.

If sleep doesn’t come right away, relax. Remind yourself that sleep will eventually happen. We all have different sleep cycles and schedules so feeling bad about not being a “perfect” sleeper only leads to a vicious cycle of anxiety. In fact, the Mayo Clinic even recommends getting out of bed and doing something else if sleep doesn’t come within 20 minutes!

Use pre-sleep time for meditation. Author Martha Beck recommends the following little exercise for accepting upcoming changes in your life, but I find it helps take your mind off any type of stress or worry you may be feeling:

As you inhale deeply through your nose, puffing your stomach out, say to yourself, “Let it happen…” As you exhale fully through your mouth, pushing your tummy toward your spine, say to yourself, “Let it go…” Or, think of any other combination of phrases that are meaningful to you as you inhale and exhale, such as, Inhale: “Life is good…” Exhale: “I’ve done my best…” This YouTube Video walks you through easy, relaxing breathing.

Finally, here are strategies for making your bedroom a more peace-full environment:

You may want to consider having your pets sleep in another room to avoid them waking you up every time they get up.
Lavender is a naturally calming scent. Invest in some lavender pillow spray or room scent.

Choose a comfortable pillow specifically designed for side sleepers, back sleepers, or tummy sleepers.
Your body’s sleep patterns are tied closely with light. Invest in some room darkening shades, a sleep mask, or drape a blanket over the window.
To block out noise, download white noise and relaxing nature sounds or search your smart phone for sleep aid apps.
Create your own sleepy time music mix on your iPod.

Now, with the room dark, pleasant sounds, and mind calming meditations, you should be well on your way to dreamland. Good night! Sleep tight!

About Real Life E®

Stick to your Schedule with Help from the iCal App

reallifee — Sun, 22 May 2011 00:47:24 +0000

Relax and enjoy a leisurely lunch: The iCal app will notify you when it’s time to pack up and head back to the office right on time! Keeping track of appointments is fun and easy with the iCal app. Use it on your Mac, iphone, or even sync it with your Google Calendar! This nifty application will help keep you organized and productive, here’s how:

Help from Apple: The iCal Basics

How to Sync Google Calendar with iCal on your Mac or iPhone

iCal Share: Search and Subscribe to Thousands of Fun Calendars

RemindMeLater App: Quickly Turns a Sentence into an iCal Event

About Real Life E®

Drowning in Technology

reallifee — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 17:44:02 +0000

Do constant email alerts, Facebook updates, and cell phone alarms make you more productive, or just all too anxious of everything that must be accomplished, but can’t be done all at once?

The thought of one more email to respond to, text message to re-tweet, yet another blog to update, and one more social media account to keep organized, is enough to make the average, already over-stretched, over-worked person ready to jump out of their skin!

Not to fear! Reclaim your sanity! While social media is important for a relevant marketing strategy, and timely email replies help build customer relationships, you don’t have to turn into a computer yourself, responding to the prompts of every bell, buzz, or alert that heads your way.

While you might initially feel guilty about making the simple decision to “unplug,” by 8 p.m. every night, small changes can make a big difference in the toll technology takes on your life. Calmer, rested, and more in control, you can be more productive than ever! Below are some links to helpful articles that can help you achieved this well balanced state. (Of course, I wouldn’t want you to spend too long on the computer, though : ) Take a lunch break away from your screen, or head to bed a little earlier. You, your family, and your friends are worth it!

Time Management in the Age of Social Media

5 Tips for More Effective Email Usage

How a False Sense of Email Urgency may be Harming your Business

How to Stop Interruptions and be More Productive

Tools for Dealing with Distraction in a Web Worker’s World

P.S.–Thanks for reading! I so appreciate each and every one of you. And if you find this info helpful, I really appreciate you sending your friends to ScheduleMakeover.com so they can receive more helpful time (and sanity!) saving tips!