Real Life E® » Psychology

Relationships and Stress

reallifee — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 20:36:57 +0000

When you’re feeling stressed, you need the support of friends and family the most. The only problem is that this is usually when you least feel like taking the time, or even having the time, to connect. But don’t stress! Below, Work/Life Balance Coach Elizabeth Grace Saunders, shares her secrets for relationship success:

It’s the stuff movies are made of…

Almost every good plot line includes something about relationships with friends, family members, colleagues or significant others.

And it’s truly a gift to have people that care about you, who want to spend time with you and notice what you do or don’t do. In a way, it’s a validation that your life matters and has significance.

But when you find yourself feeling time pressured, the treasure of relationships can start to feel like an oppressive burden.

In these situations, common (but often unhealthy) responses to additional requests or perceived request on your time are to:

Silently withdraw
Resentfully complete the activity
Sharply lash out

These type of reactions then start to drive a wedge between you and the person on the receiving end and can leave you feeling guilty and frustrated.

But there is a better way.

Here are four steps for completing a sleight of mind trick when you feel overwhelmed by requests from those around you.

1. Treasure the Gift: The opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. Take a moment to appreciate the presence of someone in your life who notices how you spend your time.

2. Consider Your Options: Reflect on the situation and consider whether anything could change. Could you come home earlier? Would you be able to spend less time in front of the computer?

3. Express Your Perspective: Instead of assuming the other person can naturally see the pressure that you’re experiencing, commit to expressing what’s going on inside you. It could sound something like this: “I really appreciate that you want to spend more time with me, and I feel badly that I can’t meet all of your requests because of ______. Are there any particular ways I can show you that you are a priority to me?”

4. Keep Your Commitments: When you say you will do something, follow through. Even if you have to say, “No,” sometimes, people will appreciate it when they can rely on you to stick to your, “Yes.”

Following these four steps, will help you to feel better about your relationships and about yourself. This sleight of mind is not about “being fake” but about choosing how you will respond when you experience the sensation of feeling pressured.

Personal and professional relationships are an investment of time and energy.

But they are worth it.

In some ways the movies are right: your relationships with people that matter to you make the best plot lines–make sure they’re part of your life story.

To your brilliance!

Elizabeth Grace

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth has appeared in Inc magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and on NBC. She was selected as one of the Top 25 Amazing Women of 2010 by Stiletto Woman and as a member of the Young Entrepreneurs Council featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Mashable, and many other media outlets.

Elizabeth’s time coaching clients have the opportunity to go through her exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM life transformation process through phone coaching and custom action guides or in-person training.

Work Better, Not Longer

reallifee — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 19:32:40 +0000

You don’t have to work 24/7 to get better at something. Instead, concentrate on the quality and focus you bring to your work hours.

In his recent article, “If You’re Busy, You’re Doing Something Wrong: The Surprisingly Relaxed Lives of Elite Achievers,” Study Hacks Blog expert, Cal Newport describes this unique phenomena. With a few tweaks to your practice, you can improve the effectiveness of your work. So check out Cal’s article and accomplish more with peace and confidence today!

About Real Life E®

Why Even Your Surgeon Has a Coach

reallifee — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 20:35:10 +0000

That’s right! We all need coaches. Work/life balance coach and time management expert, Elizabeth Grace Saunders, describes the amazing physical and emotional benefits of coaching…

How would you feel if you knew your surgeon had a coach?

It’s natural if your first thought was: What’s wrong?

But according to Atul Gawande in his excellent article in The New Yorker about Coaching a Surgeon: What Makes Top Performers Better, you should be thrilled.

Atul found that coaching really helped him transcend a plateau in his surgeries.

I agree that coaching can absolutely help you move to the next level.

But I’ve also found that coaching can lead to brilliant results as a sort of physical therapy or occupational therapy.

Here’s what I mean:

Physical therapy: Sometimes due to our natural abilities or some major challenge that we’ve faced, our habits are too weak to support us in a healthy way. (For instance, many of my clients need strength training to “build” their planning muscles.)

Occupational therapy: A coach can help you when major life changes or increases in responsibility require developing new ways of thinking and acting. This is when your life went to the next level but no one gave you the instructions on how to operate in this new stratosphere!

In my experience, both with coaching others and with receiving coaching myself, it can feel a bit embarrassing at first to admit that you really are not sure how to improve. But once you are working alongside someone who understands how to navigate the territory and will encourage you to not give up when it’s hard, everything comes sooo much easier.

To your brilliance!

Elizabeth Grace

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth on Forbes: Do You Feel Like You’re Always Working?

reallifee — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 17:49:26 +0000

Even though you may love your job, sometimes the perpetual cycle of work, work, and more work can be just too much. You don’t want to be consumed by work, but somewhere along the way, it just happened. You need to find some balance. Pronto! Otherwise, you’re in danger of burning out.

Fortunately,there are a few simple adjustments to your mindset and daily schedule that can make a big difference. In her newest article, “Why Does it Feel like I’m Always Working?” featured on Forbes.com, expert time coach and work-life balance master, Elizabeth Grace Saunders, discusses simple solutions you can start implementing today. Overcome feelings of guilt, and tactfully stop over-committing by setting boundaries. You can work hard but still have time to play hard- every day!

So take a break from your work, and check out Elizabeth’s Forbes Article now.

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E®, which provides life coaching for individuals who struggle with time management.

Real Life E® empowers individuals who feel guilty, overwhelmed and frustrated to feel peaceful, confident and accomplished through an exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM process. Real Life E® also increases employee productivity, satisfaction and work/life balance through custom training programs.

Elizabeth’s time coaching clients have the opportunity to go through her exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM life transformation process through phone coaching and custom action guides or in-person training.

Elizabeth’s Guide to Setting Boundaries and Saying No

reallifee — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 20:50:08 +0000

Elizabeth Grace Saunders, Speaker, Trainer, Coach, Owner of Real Life E®

In her article, “Setting Boundaries & Saying No…Nicely,” expert time coach Elizabeth Grace Saunders explains how to navigate situations where it could be difficult to say, “No.” Check out this article for professional, courteous scripts that you can use for e-mail or in-person responses.

Stop stretching yourself too thin, and say “YES!” to reading Elizabeth’s article on The 99%!

About Real Life E®

Hope for Clients Battling Depression

reallifee — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:20:01 +0000

Shorter days and colder weather can be a bit of a let down for many people. However if you struggle with depression, the changing seasons may not only dampen your spirit but also disrupt your time management, work/life balance, and strong relationship building attempts.

Fortunately, you can find tools and support to function during the darker months of the year. Check out the links below to learn more about depression, and discover helpful resources.

Be gentle with yourself, and hang in there! Spring’s around the corner! To your brilliance!

The Mayo Clinic’s Comprehensive Overview: clear educational summary, including info about symptoms, treatment, causes, and coping.

Check out the links at the bottom of the page to learn more about other types of depression including:

Seasonal Affective Disorder(SAD)

Dysthesmia

Atypical (surprisingly, very typical!)

Postpartum

Male Depression

Other Resources:

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

Self-Help and Coping Tips

Living with a Depressed Partner

About Real Life E®

Help for ADD/ADHD Clients

reallifee — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 20:05:06 +0000

Time Management can be a challenge for anyone, but staying on task can be especially difficult for those struggling with ADD or ADHD.

But there’s hope! Elizabeth has experience working with clients of all different personality types and learning styles. The key to change is recognizing the challenge and finding a solution that works best for you. Check out some of the resources below to learn more about ADD/ADHD, to understand how it may have an impact on your work/life balance, and to connect with others who are struggling with some of the same difficulties. To your brilliance!

The Mayo Clinic’s Comprehensive Overview of Adult ADHD: easy-to-grasp educational resource, including info about symptoms, causes, diagnosis, and treatment

Adult ADD/ADHD: symptoms, treatment, and other resources

Positive/Negative ADD Traits: One adult’s experience living with ADD

Attention Deficit Disorder Association: Online community of resources

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E® a time coaching and training company that empowers individuals who feel guilty, overwhelmed and frustrated to feel peaceful, confident and accomplished through an exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM process. Real Life E® also increases team productivity, employee satisfaction and work/life balance through custom training programs.
Elizabeth has appeared in Inc magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and on NBC. She was selected as one of the Top 25 Amazing Women of 2010 by Stiletto Woman and as a member of the Young Entrepreneurs Council featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Mashable, and many other media outlets.

Ditching the Dread… Of Success

reallifee — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 15:04:02 +0000

We’ve all experienced that roller coaster of project-related emotions at some point in life. While performing at the top of your game is initially empowering and motivating, the pressure to continually outperform yourself can be debilitating. An activity that once filled you with joy, confidence, and a sense of accomplishment now fills you with dread. Well, it’s time to ditch that dread and gain your confidence back! In her recent newsletter, Elizabeth describes the inspirational turnaround of a wonderful client. Try out some of the tools and strategies in the latest client success story below.

Starting a new project in an area where you have excelled but almost killed yourself in the process is terrifying …

What if you can’t produce the same level of results?
What if you lose yourself and quality relationships in the process?
What if you end up feeling terrible the entire time you’re doing the work?

These are all valid feelings when your past experience tells you that the only way to get big projects done is to work at a frenzied pace.

Fortunately, there’s a better way.

Last winter, I worked with a successful, well-published writer who also taught in a university graduate school Masters of Fine Arts program. She was stuck.

“I am scattered and making erratic progress with this or that. I want to make solid steps forward. I want to reclaim my life and place in the literary firmament, get healthy and in shape, and have fun!”

She also had just been diagnosed with ADHD and was wondering how much of an impact ADHD had on her life-long frustrations with writing and other areas of her life. One of her most important goals was to move forward on her next big creative project–a collection of linked short stories. It had been a long time since her first book had been published, and she needed to regain professional momentum…

“My friends are mostly writers and successful. I have lots of ink in the New York Times that I have written and that has been written about me. So I have talent. I also need to know what I need to do, like a solid schedule? work impulsively? Okay I know the answer to that.”

She did know the answer, but turning the answer into practical action took time coaching… We came up with an initial plan of how she could get in a good, solid, writing time in the morning. Then each week, we worked on assessing the results and evaluating how to move forward based on what happened.

“I found the process very stabilizing because I tend to be all over the place with trying things. You were able to roll with the way I operate and yet be a strong force in your own right. It was helpful having you to run things off of, especially when I got stuck–which was about every week.”

We worked together on different morning writing routines. The first involved: drinking coffee, eating breakfast, taking the dog out, meditating, getting dressed, and then starting to write. The second involved just getting coffee and starting to write. The end result was a fusion of the two with pouring a cup of coffee, meditating a bit, taking out the dog and then writing.

The end goal wasn’t to have this creative writer crammed into a rigid schedule but to have something that turned writing (her top professional priority) from a dreaded activity to a peaceful part of her daily schedule.

Over the course of our work together, she found that if she followed her morning routine and put herself in her writing space for two hours (with a timer set), the inspiration came and the writing moved forward.

Writing didn’t need to be something that she dreaded.
Writing didn’t need to be something that took over her life.
Writing could be something she choose to move forward on each day.

At last! Freedom to do quality work without losing herself, her relationships or her sanity was possible!

“I’ve found that the actual schedule that I longed for would absolutely drive me around the bend so I have a flexitarian schedule and am getting things done.”

“Having and sticking with a schedule is the single most important thing I can do for myself as an artist, as a woman living a rather complex and exciting life, and as someone newly aware that many of my problems stem from having ADHD. Nothing, nothing, nothing will move me forward like following my schedule will. Period.”

The same could be true for you.

You can take away the fear surrounding moving forward on a big project by developing, practicing and adjusting your custom routines.

To your brilliance!

Elizabeth

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E®, which provides life coaching for individuals who struggle with time management.

Why Can’t I Finish?: The99Percent.com Guest Post

reallifee — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 14:20:19 +0000

When was the last time you totally completed a really important task, or drove a big project across the finish line?

In her insightful guest post, “Why Can’t I Finish?” on The99Percent.com, Elizabeth uncovers the (often hidden) mental battles that can keep you from finishing. Then, Elizabeth gives her one-of-a-kind, practical advice on how you really can cross that finish line! The end is near- read Elizabeth’s Article now!

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth’s Quick Mind Tricks

reallifee — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 18:04:35 +0000

Do you begin your day full of grand intentions of all that you want to accomplish, yet somehow end up going to bed feeling as if you’ve gotten nothing done?

Whether you work from home or in an office, expert time coach and entrepreneur Elizabeth Grace Saunders has some quick tricks to help keep you on track. Try a few of Elizabeth’s personal productivity techniques listed below, and see just how much you really can accomplish today!

Like many of you, my daily priorities vary. But I have some standard mental tricks for staying focused and productive. Following my Morning Routine and Daily Planning, I use these techniques to implement the plan.

Elizabeth’s Daily Strategy

After planning and processing, I can’t wait to get things done!

Here’s how I make it happen:

Follow Orders: Each day, I make a number order for my daily activities and try to follow it as closely as possible so the most important tasks get done early in the day and early in the week. Less pressing activities can be moved to another day if my schedule changes.
Allow for Reflection: Stepping away from my computer and thinking about how to solve a problem or write a blog post or reply to a complex e-mail is not procrastination. This reflection time is immensely productive and seems to happen best for me over a snack or a quick walk.
Reward Myself: To keep up my motivation and to allow for a quicker mental shift between types of activities, I reward myself with these types of breaks: replying to a few personal e-mails, a snack or a stretch break.
Cut Up Large Projects: At the start of the 2–3 hour blocks of time I set aside for large projects, I scribble down a mini-plan of all of the action steps. Then I implement on that mini-plan within the time block.
Evaluate the Cost: If a project starts taking longer than expected, I evaluate the cost of finishing it versus moving on to something else or getting it to “good enough” with the understanding I can come back if there’s time.
Stuff in Little Activities: I try to do little activities like sending in checks or setting up appointments within small pockets of time between scheduled activities.
Watch My People Levels: If I’m craving people time, I try to arrange a call or work in an environment where I’m around others. If I feel tired of being around others, then I seek out solitude.
Capture the Next Step: If I leave a voicemail, I make a note on my calendar doc to follow up. If I leave a meeting, I make a note of when to complete the minutes. If I receive a blog post assignment, I make a note of its deadline and when to start it. Everything has a documented next step.
Create Urgency: I always think of a few more things that it would be nice to fit in a day or the week than I think I could actually get done. That way I’m motivated to push myself and see how much I can do instead of subconsciously delaying because I’m not sure what would be next.
Accountability & Transparency: I have four individuals that help keep me motivated by holding me accountable. I commit to being transparent with them about what I’m actually getting done, especially in terms of business and professional development. (They send me lots of encouraging affirmation in return!)

To your brilliance!

Your time coach,

Elizabeth

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E®, which provides life coaching for individuals who struggle with time management.

Elizabeth’s time coaching clients have the opportunity to go through her exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM life transformation process through phone coaching and custom action guides or in-person training.