Real Life E® » Relationships

Relationships and Stress

reallifee — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 20:36:57 +0000

When you’re feeling stressed, you need the support of friends and family the most. The only problem is that this is usually when you least feel like taking the time, or even having the time, to connect. But don’t stress! Below, Work/Life Balance Coach Elizabeth Grace Saunders, shares her secrets for relationship success:

It’s the stuff movies are made of…

Almost every good plot line includes something about relationships with friends, family members, colleagues or significant others.

And it’s truly a gift to have people that care about you, who want to spend time with you and notice what you do or don’t do. In a way, it’s a validation that your life matters and has significance.

But when you find yourself feeling time pressured, the treasure of relationships can start to feel like an oppressive burden.

In these situations, common (but often unhealthy) responses to additional requests or perceived request on your time are to:

Silently withdraw
Resentfully complete the activity
Sharply lash out

These type of reactions then start to drive a wedge between you and the person on the receiving end and can leave you feeling guilty and frustrated.

But there is a better way.

Here are four steps for completing a sleight of mind trick when you feel overwhelmed by requests from those around you.

1. Treasure the Gift: The opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. Take a moment to appreciate the presence of someone in your life who notices how you spend your time.

2. Consider Your Options: Reflect on the situation and consider whether anything could change. Could you come home earlier? Would you be able to spend less time in front of the computer?

3. Express Your Perspective: Instead of assuming the other person can naturally see the pressure that you’re experiencing, commit to expressing what’s going on inside you. It could sound something like this: “I really appreciate that you want to spend more time with me, and I feel badly that I can’t meet all of your requests because of ______. Are there any particular ways I can show you that you are a priority to me?”

4. Keep Your Commitments: When you say you will do something, follow through. Even if you have to say, “No,” sometimes, people will appreciate it when they can rely on you to stick to your, “Yes.”

Following these four steps, will help you to feel better about your relationships and about yourself. This sleight of mind is not about “being fake” but about choosing how you will respond when you experience the sensation of feeling pressured.

Personal and professional relationships are an investment of time and energy.

But they are worth it.

In some ways the movies are right: your relationships with people that matter to you make the best plot lines–make sure they’re part of your life story.

To your brilliance!

Elizabeth Grace

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth has appeared in Inc magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and on NBC. She was selected as one of the Top 25 Amazing Women of 2010 by Stiletto Woman and as a member of the Young Entrepreneurs Council featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Mashable, and many other media outlets.

Elizabeth’s time coaching clients have the opportunity to go through her exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM life transformation process through phone coaching and custom action guides or in-person training.

Elizabeth’s Guide to Setting Boundaries and Saying No

reallifee — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 20:50:08 +0000

Elizabeth Grace Saunders, Speaker, Trainer, Coach, Owner of Real Life E®

In her article, “Setting Boundaries & Saying No…Nicely,” expert time coach Elizabeth Grace Saunders explains how to navigate situations where it could be difficult to say, “No.” Check out this article for professional, courteous scripts that you can use for e-mail or in-person responses.

Stop stretching yourself too thin, and say “YES!” to reading Elizabeth’s article on The 99%!

About Real Life E®

Pet Time: Dog Routines

reallifee — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 20:44:49 +0000

If you’re a dog lover, your four-legged friend is your ultimate companion. But when you’re feeling overwhelmed, you barely have time to exercise yourself, let alone make sure Fido gets enough exercise too. Keep yourself and your dog healthy and happy with a few well-placed additions to your dog care schedule.

Building a routine for your pet is mutually beneficial. Taking 20-30 minutes to walk your dog before tackling your next project can give you just the respite you need to clear your mind and get pumped up to move forward. Plus, walking your dog enforces a strong leadership position with your pet. For most dogs, trotting around by themselves in the backyard can be rather boring. Check out these tips to ensure that both you and your furry friend are getting the healthy exercise and mental stimulation you both need.

In addition to exercise, dogs crave love and attention and thrive on an established routine. This is especially important in terms of potty breaks and feeding times. Also, dogs need enough sleep to function effectively. If possible, consider designating an area of the house, such as a cushion or crate, for your dog, and keep your own bed a dog-free zone. This will allow your pet to have some ownership of his own special space and will ensure that you get a full night’s sleep as well. Take a peek at this Ideal Dog Schedule written from the perspective of a dog. Then tweak it to your own daily schedule and your pet’s preferences.

As part of your pup’s schedule, try incorporating a 10 minute block of training time everyday. Here’s a List of 10 Commands Every Dog Should Know. Don’t stress about you or your dog performing perfectly. Make it a fun activity to break up your day, and an opportunity for much-needed bonding time. When your dog masters some of these commands, you may be surprised how his overall behavior improves too.

Now that you have a playful, obedient, well-fed pup, you’ll want to show off your pride and joy. Make sure your dog’s well-groomed and that you keep up on necessary hygiene needs. Most dogs are pretty good self-groomers, but it’s important that you keep up on monthly flea and tick care and perform maintenance on their nails, eyes, and ears as needed. This can be done by Establishing a Grooming Routine.

Now, grab the leash, pick up that brush, or fill up that food bowl! But most of all, have fun! Your beloved dog is waiting for you!

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E®, which provides life coaching for individuals who struggle with time management.

Real Life E® empowers individuals who feel guilty, overwhelmed and frustrated to feel peaceful, confident and accomplished through an exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM process. Real Life E® also increases employee productivity, satisfaction and work/life balance through custom training programs.

Elizabeth’s time coaching clients have the opportunity to go through her exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM life transformation process through phone coaching and custom action guides or in-person training.

Chores Part 2: Resources for You!

reallifee — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 17:07:39 +0000

Chores. Again! Alas, everybody has to do them. So to make the most of your precious time, create some sort of regular chore schedule.

From monthly chore charts to daily speed-cleaning suggestions to reward trackers, here’s how to keep your house under control (whether or not you have kids!)

Chore Schedule Generator- automatically creates a chore schedule for you based on the information you provide, such as the time you have available, and tasks you most want accomplished. It will even email you daily/weekly chore updates!

Chore List Checklists

Room-by-Room- A list for housecleaning chores divided by which room they occur in the home

Basic Blank 7 Day Chart

Chore List Calendars

Tasks by Day(Blue and Orange)

Tasks by Day (Pink and Green)

-Fill in the blank weekly/monthly calendars

Weekly Schedule- An already filled-in weekly calendar you can add to as needed

5 week Calendar- No dates. Number the days and add chores for the month, beginning any day you’d like.

Chore Incentives/Rewards/Point Trackers

(Designed for Kids But Work for Adults ;o)

Superstar Weekly Reward Chart- Different numbers of stars equal different rewards for the week. (Scroll to very bottom of page)

Weekly Goal Chart- Child writes in the goal they want accomplished and their chosen reward, keeping track of their progress each day of the week

Chores on Commission- In order to eliminate a work-free allowance, this dad created a commission-style chore program.

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E® a time coaching and training company that empowers individuals who feel guilty, overwhelmed and frustrated to feel peaceful, confident and accomplished through an exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM process. Real Life E® also increases employee productivity, satisfaction and work/life balance through custom training programs.Elizabeth has appeared in Inc magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and on NBC. She was selected as one of the Top 25 Amazing Women of 2010 by Stiletto Woman and as a member of the Young Entrepreneurs Council featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Mashable, and many other media outlets.

Making and Keeping a Chore Schedule

reallifee — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 18:33:21 +0000

Let’s face it- chores are challenging.

Elizabeth Saunders was recently featured on the Radical Parenting website with tools and helpful advice on how to set clear expectations and create a manageable plan of attack for your teens’ chores. Check out the introduction to Elizabeth’s article below for practical advice on creating and sharing a cleaner home with a very happy family!

How to Take the Stress Out of Weekly Chores

Chores: One of the most dreaded words for any teenager and one of the most frustrating ones for any parent.

Is there a way for families to split up tasks without major fights and headaches? Fortunately, the answer is, “Yes!” But how you achieve that goal is a little different for each household.

That’s why Elizabeth Grace Saunders, the founder of Real Life E® time coaching, has developed this choose your own adventure-style guide for making (and keeping) a chore schedule based on her experience coaching many parents on time management.

Let the adventure begin!…

To read the rest of Elizabeth’s insightful article, please visit the Radical Parenting Website!

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth in Forbes: Networking Insights

reallifee — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 11:33:27 +0000

Most people realize that networking is key for professional development, but most people don’t realize that going about it the wrong way can be a tremendous waste of time and energy.

This recent article published on Forbes.com by expert time coach, Elizabeth Saunders, gives valuable insights into how to make networking work for you.

Go to events you want actually want to attend, and build relationships with peers whom you’re really excited to get to know.

Check out Elizabeth’s advice, and learn how to make better connections in less time.

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E®

a time coaching and training company that empowers individuals who feel guilty, overwhelmed and frustrated to feel peaceful, confident and accomplished through an exclusive Schedule Makeover^TM process. Real Life E® also increases employee productivity, satisfaction and work/life balance through custom training programs.

Elizabeth has appeared in Inc magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and on NBC. She was selected as one of the Top 25 Amazing Women of 2010 by Stiletto Woman and as a member of the Young Entrepreneurs Council featured in The New York Times, The Huffington Post, Mashable, and many other media outlets.

When Parents Work at Home: Teen Observations

reallifee — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 19:58:30 +0000

Finally! You have the chance to work from home! Anyone who takes this leap, and those considering going forward with this decision, have had to weigh the pros and cons. Working from home can be both a blessing and a burden: It’s wonderful to set your own schedule, and be available to go to sports games and assemblies. But just because you work out of the spare bedroom doesn’t mean that you can constantly cater to your family’s every beck and call, and still put in a productive work day.

Working from home is a balancing act for the whole family and requires everyone’s respect and support. Sixteen year-old, Matt Simon, knows this from first-hand experience. Check out Matt’s illuminating article, and get a teen’s perspective about what it’s really like to have a parent working from home.

When Parents Work at Home: “My Name is Matt…and My Mom Works from Home”

Matt is a teen writer for Radical Parenting.com, a parenting website written from the kid’s perspective with 82 teen interns! He is a 16-year-old from New York City, NY. He loves to be social and spend time with his friends, as well as being an active leader in his community. However, school also plays an important role in his life and he is motivated to achieve his dreams. For more articles by teens please check out RadicalParenting.com.

My mom has officially worked from home for about three years now. Like everything my mom does, I see the positives and the negatives of this drastic change in her life. Because of this, I feel the need to discuss a few things with those teens who, like me, have a parent working at home.

Personally, I LOVE knowing when my mom is working and when she’s open to do whatever. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, however, she can be aggressive sometimes. Because of this fact, I need to know when I can talk to her and when I should stay clear of her office/my sister’s old room. Because my mom is the only source of income for my family (my dad hasn’t worked for over twenty years), I feel the need to let my mom do what she needs to do in order to keep the bacon flowing.

Since my mom started working at home and started her own law firm, the rest of the family developed their own respective “roles” during the my mom’s working time. I do my homework or go to work, my dad prepares dinner and/or does the laundry. My mom does her work. Simple. At 7:30 every night marks the end of my mom’s work time because that’s when we all sit down and have dinner together and share stories about the days we’ve had. I personally love it like this. However, I do understand the other side, where there is a more flexible time of work. In my opinion though, I feel as if the work will never truly be completed. I think we have a balance at my family, and it works out perfectly!

My mom usually stops her work after dinner, however there are those nights where she works all night. To be honest, this really does not bother me because on weekdays and Saturday nights, I am very independent from my parents. After dinner, I either finish my homework or go out and hang out with my friends. Therefore, if my mom were to work after dinner, it would not phase me. However, my time with my parents is Sunday nights. I would be DEVASTATED if my mom worked on Sunday nights. I wouldn’t cry or anything–I’m almost seventeen–but I would be disappointed. We always watch movies on Sunday nights, all together as a family. That includes my mom!

Now, for the main event: How does my mom working at home affect my stress level?

I have a valid answer, in my opinion. I really don’t feel more stressed or less stressed on a daily basis. That may just be because of my personality, or maybe because of my age. However, those days when my mom is stressed… I get stressed! She comes out of her office sometimes, completely frazzled– and I NEVER use that word! She either has just dealt with a nasty client, or hates the case she’s working on, or anything. Whenever she’s in her “mood,” we ALL feel it.

I actually see a correlation between my test grades and my mom’s stress level. When she’s stressed, I’m stressed and I don’t reach my full potential at school. Other than that though, I like knowing that my mom is home most of the time. I feel comfortable knowing that if there is ever a problem, I can always tell my mom, even if it is before dinner.

My name is Matt, and my mom works from home. There are some positives and negatives. In my opinion though, I prefer my mom working out of the house, just because then I can cherish her time at home more. However, either way, I enjoy knowing the fact that my mom is still doing what she loves to do, no matter of the location.

For those teens out there: I’d love to hear your take on this!

For those parents out there: I’d love to hear your take too!

This is definitely something that affects everyone in the family as a whole.

About Real Life E®

E Note-Yeah for Our Wonderful Moms!

reallifee — Mon, 10 May 2010 19:23:30 +0000

People who sign up for my newsletter at ScheduleMakeover.com regularly receive special exercises, Real Life E® updates and exclusive offers that don’t appear on this blog. But I thought it would be nice to share these really special newsletter messages from last week…

By believing in us, our moms help us to achieve our dreams…

This newsletter contained a special Schedule Makeover™ Mother’s Day gift offer. Sign up at ScheduleMakeover.com so you don’t miss future opportunities!

“My Mom helped me in achieving my dreams by saying ,”Mijo, You can do anything you put your mind to!”–seotips2go

“My mom is the best mom ever!!! When I was just a baby she and my dad chose to adopt me…she always told me I was special and that I could do anything I wanted to do. She never forced me to do things I didn’t want to do and encouraged me to pursue my dreams. Her famous saying is “life is too short.” She wouldn’t do things for me, but encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone to grow. I grew up knowing I could go to her with anything that came my way, she has been there for me EVERY step of the way. I hope everyone has a mom like mine!”–Teri M.

“My mom, has been a great force in my life. In my book, No More Handcuffs, I have an entire section on how I talk about how she was my saving grace. She has always been a strong tower for me. Even when my father was in and out of prison, she would always speak positive words to me and over me. She is the reason that I am who am today.” –Alton Jamison

“A huge way my Mom’s been supportive of me:
My family and I struggle to pay my out-of-state college tuition sometimes, and I’ve offered to transfer to an in-state college. She says that if I’m happy where I am and I keep doing as well as I have been, I deserve to be where I want to be. So, she and I find ways to pay my tuition piece by piece.”–Allison B.
“My mom was my best friend growing up. We did a lot together! Even though she had a full-time job, she had the flexibility to still be there to support me in everything I did. She never pushed me to be someone I wasn’t or to do something I had no desire to do. She supported me every time I traveled and did out of the box things. She also would tell me if she didn’t think something was a good idea, her mother’s instinct and she was usually always right! My mom is an amazing blessing to me and I definitely would not be who I am today without her unconditional love and support.”–Kari E.

Wow! These are just a few of the many stories of how our moms give us such a special gift for believing in us and our dreams, even when at times no one else does.

But have you noticed that not all the time, but sometimes, moms have difficulty making their dreams a priority? That they will go to the ends of the earth for others but sometimes have trouble taking the first steps toward their own goals?

Let’s encourage our moms to believe in themselves as much as they believe in us.

Yeah for us All believing in our dreams!

Elizabeth

About Real Life E®

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is a time coach who empowers individuals who are overwhelmed and frustrated because they want to achieve a life of peace and productivity but are struggling to make it happen. She helps them set priorities, set expectations and set routines so that they move forward, feel peaceful and have time for themselves and the people they love.

She also does women in business keynote speeches about how to have confidence, present yourself professionally, and work effectively with men and women in the business world.

Elizabeth has been featured in Inc magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and on NBC, and is happy to be interviewed for your broadcast or publication.

Brilliant Affiliates:

June Newsletter-Have You Made Time to Grieve?

reallifee — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:26:19 +0000

Michele Deville featured in Real Life E newsletter

The most recent Brilliant Time Strategies newsletter just went out yesterday. In it, I featured Michele Deville, who in addition to being a coach, speaker, and author is a volunteer grief counselor.

If you’re going through difficult times and didn’t receive the newsletter, sign up in the bar at right, and you’ll receive a link on the Thank You page to this important information.

Don’t neglect yourself during hard times… when you take time to love and care for yourself, you heal and then have the capacity to love and care for others.

Take care,

Elizabeth

If you want to end your feelings of overwhelm and guilt and step into the future with confidence, check out www.ScheduleMakeover.com or contact me at esaunders@RealLifeE.com I can develop an ideal schedule for you that helps you get through stressful times.

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is a time coach and trainer who empowers women in business to achieve work/life brilliance™ through her exclusive Schedule Makeover™ process. Inc magazine, NBC, and The Chicago Tribune are just a few of the places where Elizabeth has appeared, and she’s happy to offer you tips on savvy scheduling and time management for work/life balance.

E Note-Calming Advice for Bride-to-Be

reallifee — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:40:01 +0000

I recently received this note from a bride-to-be:

“I am getting married in 5 weeks, and it’s just busy and I have a lot on my “plate”–some stuff I can’t control and some I can control. I get stressed easily and uptight. I don’t want every change, road block, or honestly my stubbornness to get in the way of the joy and abundant life God has for me and my future husband. I want to break free of this. I am a very organized and sometimes controlling person so when I get impatient or my plans are thrown for a loop I get stressed and in a bad mood sometimes.

I feel like there is no time for everything I want to get done in one day! It’s frustrating.”

She’s not alone! This is a situation that plagues many brides-to-be or any one approaching a major emotionally involved event or project.

Here’s my advice:

1. Recognize that this is a stressful time of life. You not only have a ton to do with
preparing for the wedding but also are going through the grieving process of leaving your
your old life of singleness and starting a new season. It’s natural to feel sad/be more
sensitive.

2. Realize that you aren’t going to be able to do everything you want to do. As you plan the weeks before your wedding, ask yourself two questions:
-Is this an essential or optional wedding activity?
-Is this something that needs to be done before the wedding or can it wait?

Then focus on the essential activities that must be done before the wedding. If you get
any of the optional or “could wait” items done, great but don’t put pressure on yourself
to make them happen.

3. I understand the feeling of getting stressed or impatient when things don’t go as planned. I wrote a blog post on dealing with this topic: http://tinyurl.com/lhf3n3 Also,
I’ve found it helps enormously when I start my day asking God what He wants me to
accomplish and praying throughout the day that I will focus on loving God and loving
people instead of just “getting things done.”

Hope this helps all brides-to-be to take a deep breath and enjoy this beautiful season!

Take care,

Elizabeth

If you want to end your feelings of overwhelm and frustration and step into the future with confidence, check out www.ScheduleMakeover.com or contact me at esaunders@RealLifeE.com I can develop an ideal schedule for you that helps you get through stressful times.

Some Other Bride To Be Resources:

Dresses, Food, Invitations, Etc. on Brides.com

Good Advice Bridal Shower

Becoming We on DivineCaroline.com